Life Advice From South Park’s Ski Instructor

If you don’t heed his advice, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

South Park is full of great characters, but one that often gets overlooked is the overzealous ski instructor from the episode “Asspen.” Luckily, the internet has come to his rescue, like a St. Bernard with a whiskey barrel tied to its collar, by turning him into an advice meme. Here’s life advice from South Park’s ski instructor:


“You’re Gonna Have A Bad Time”

You, on the other hand, are about to have a good time…


8 AM Class

Unless it’s a class about treating hangovers.


Waking Up

“Bad morning to you.”


Movies vs. Books

Best case scenario: Hollywood doesn’t add a talking CG squirrel.



Clean-up on aisle Your Toilet.


Bong Water

Gross. Also: blech.






…and a lot of bad calls to home.


Long Distance

Spending money you should be using to pay off your student loans on airfare makes that bad time even worse.


Sexual Favors

I fixed your garage door opener… so… bj?



“Totes breaking up with u ;-D”


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!