Photo: 20th Century Fox
You might remember when we analyzed all of the injuries in Home Alone. Well, those revelations were just the tip of the iceberg, so I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. I’m going to open your eyes to an ugly truth that has been overlooked for decades. It’s plain and simple: Uncle Frank devised a plan to rob the McCallister’s home and have Kevin murdered. I will present irrefutable evidence, so I hope you can keep an open mind because you will never be able to watch “Home Alone” the same way again. Let’s start at the beginning.
Uncle Frank Was Behind Everything In Home Alone
We all know Uncle Frank as a cheapskate who refused to financially contribute to anything other than his own personal gain. When pizza is delivered for everyone, not only does he not offer to pay or even split the bill, but goes so far as to say “My brother’s house; he’ll take care of it.” You probably heard that and thought it was just about the pizza, but that’s an interesting choice of words, don’t you think?
“My BROTHER’S HOUSE. He’ll TAKE CARE of it.”
This is our first indication – the first time Frank slips up – as to what Frank has planned. He is going to have his brother’s house robbed while they’re all away on a vacation that his brother paid for! Here Frank is basically saying, “You see this? It’s my brother’s house and he is going to pay for it.”
But Frank’s plans don’t stop there. He’s also planning to have Kevin murdered. Watch this puppet master at work:
When Fuller asks what time they’re getting up in the morning, Frank busts in immediately and declares “Early! We’re leaving at 8 a.m. on the dot!” I wonder why he said that. Was it because he wanted everyone in bed as soon as possible so they would forget about Kevin being on the third floor? “But wait!” you say. “Kevin hasn’t been sent to the third floor yet!” Well, my friend, watch Frank the master work his magic.
After making sure Buzz and the others quickly had all the cheese pizza, Frank knew it would set Kevin into a spiral of rage. He made sure the milk was placed next to the tickets. Then to make sure Kevin got sent to the third floor where he would be forgotten, Frank interrupts Kevin’s explanation of why he shoved Buzz and yells, “Look what you did you little jerk!” First off, if I were Mr. McCallister, I would have punched Frank in his face for talking to my kid that way. But I’m not Mr. McCallister. Frank knew that his younger brother would be intimidated by him and would be sure to punish Kevin if he knew he was upset. This gets Kevin to the third floor. Onto the next step.
Frank knocked out the power! We don’t see what anyone is doing through the night and we also don’t see any rain or lightning. Is it not possible that Frank went out and broke a limb to knock out the power, thus insuring that everyone would be in chaos the next morning and forget about Kevin? Rewatch the scene: We never see the other end of the branch. We only see it breaking off. If you dusted that branch, it would have Frank’s dirty fingerprints all over it.
It’s the next morning and everyone is in disarray, trying to get ready to go to the airport. But what if they do a head count? Frank was prepared. I’m sure he saw the neighbor kid outside playing and told him to come over first thing in the morning to check out the cool vans that would be stopping by. What kid could resist? It’s the perfect cover. This kid was around the same age, same size, same build, a suitable replica. As soon as the head count is over and Frank is in the clear, guess who walks out the front door?
You guessed it, Uncle Frank, along with any adult who may have noticed something was off during the head count. He distracted them long enough for his plan to be pulled off. He is the ultimate wolf in sheep’s clothing.
If you still don’t believe that Uncle Frank only cares about himself and would steal from anyone, then let me refresh your memory on this moment:
Frank is in first class – courtesy of his brother, might I remind you – when he realizes he’s just been handed real crystal. What does he do? He forces his wife to steal them! Obviously the airline is going to notice missing crystal, but Frank doesn’t care because he didn’t buy the tickets. Peter McCallister bought the tickets and therefore Peter McCallister would be charged for the missing items. It’s Frank’s gain and Peter’s loss. Frank simply does not care who he hurts.
Suddenly, there’s an unexpected event. Kate realizes they forgot Kevin. This is sooner than Frank expected, so what does he do? He slips up again. This time revealing how little he thinks of Kevin’s life.
Frank exclaims: “If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.”
Reading glasses? You’re comparing the life of a young child to your cheap bifocals? It’s clear that Frank has become so disconnected to human emotions that he can no longer even communicate on a sensible level. Frank hates Kevin and it should be apparent to everyone by now.
The family gets to the airport and Kate has everyone calling anyone they can possibly get in contact with to check on Kevin. She gives Aunt Leslie her address book so she and Uncle Frank can call everyone in it. A few minutes later Leslie says that they’ve called everyone without luck. Well that’s strange, if you’ve already called everyone, then who is Frank talking to on the phone?
Are you ready for this? Frank hired Marv and Harry to rob the McCallister’s house! He made the call here to let them know that they could rob the house. Of course he didn’t tell them about Kevin. His plan was for them to stumble upon him and be forced to kill him to cover up their tracks. This way it wouldn’t cost him money to have him killed – it would seem as though it was their decision. Even in this, Frank is showing how cheap he really is.
After Marv and Harry realize there’s something suspicious with Kevin, they make a plan to go rob the house. When the time comes, Frank is ready to celebrate.
Look at everyone else. They’re worried and exhausted, but not Frank. He’s running around with jumbo shrimp to hand out as he gloats over what he thinks is the perfect crime. Little does he know that Kevin deterred Marv and Harry with an intricate rope and pulley system.
Kevin thought he was just getting rid of some petty thieves, but he more than likely saved his own life that night.
After learning what happened, we never see Frank on screen again. Where did he go? We don’t know for sure, but here’s something that we can know for sure: Marv and Harry get extremely violent after this. Ask yourself this question: If they knew someone was in that house, why not just rob the others and skip that one? Why take the risk? Because that was the only one they were getting paid to knock off! Frank more than likely informed them that, because of their sloppy work, they would need to eliminate Kevin because he would be able to identify them. How else can you explain this?
Marv and Harry go from robbers to murderers this quickly? Sure, Kevin caused them some pain, but to murder a child isn’t something you take on lightly. Their description is sadistic as they psychologically torture him by telling him how they plan to slowly murder him. Why? Because Frank is upset and he’s informed them that unless they want to go back to jail, they’d better kill the kid and they’d better make it hurt.
Thank goodness, Marv and Harry fail and Kevin lives.
When the family finally reunites there is a noticeable missing face. Where’s Uncle Frank? Did he have to get back to his home so soon? Possibly. Or is it more reasonable to think that Frank was so disgusted with is failed plan that he refused to go back and face his failure? You are a monster, Uncle Frank. You should be ashamed of yourself and the pain you caused this family.
Goodbye, Uncle Frank. It looks like your plan of evil didn’t succeed after all.