The 10 Craziest Moments From Uncle Joe Biden

Joe has definitely earned his creepy uncle status with this list of blunders.

Noah Henryby Noah Henry

Joe Biden is a straight shooter with no filter. He’s also way too handsy with people, but that’s neither here nor there. The truth is, he’s just a man. And sometimes men run their mouths without consulting their brains first. Here are a few things Biden has done, and whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat, we can all agree that our esteemed vice president can be quite the silly boy.

1. He massaged and sniffed Defense Secretary Ashton Carter’s wife.
Defense Secretary Ashton Carter's wife, craziest moments from uncle joe biden, craziest joe biden moments
During Carter’s swearing in as defense secretary, Biden gets a little too close for comfort. He puts his hands on Mrs. Carter’s shoulders and whispers sweet nothings in her ear. This goes on for 10 seconds.

2. He tried to gently kiss the forehead of Senator Christopher Coon’s young daughter, but she dodges his advances.
Senator Christopher Coon's young daughter, craziest moments from uncle joe biden, craziest joe biden moments
Chris Hanson was sorely absent during Senator Christopher Coons’ ceremony earlier this year. Biden zeroes in on Margaret Coons, 13, and tells her, “My lord you’re getting big.” He then touches her buttocks (1:33 in the video) and proceeds to whisper gently in her ear, like he did to Ashton Carter’s wife. And then the big one – he tries to kiss her. She recoils away from Uncle Joe’s lips.

3. TV reporter Amie Parnes stops Biden’s hands from groping her breasts.
Amie Parnes, craziest moments from uncle joe biden, craziest joe biden moments
Parnes posted a photo taken at a 2013 Christmas party on Facebook. It went viral. Many questioned whether Parnes’ hands were blocking Joe’s from feeling her fun bags. What do you think?

4. He told a crowd of black people that Mitt Romney would put them “back in chains.”
Mitt Romney, craziest moments from uncle joe biden, craziest joe biden moments
Biden said during a rally in Virginia, “They’re going to put y’all back in chains,” referring to Romney and running mate Paul Ryan. Now, “fearmongering” is usually a term thrown at Republicans, but if there was any fear that shouldn’t be exploited, telling a segment of the population that Republicans want to put them in slavery is definitely it.

5. Describing Obama in 2007: “You got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”
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What exactly is a “mainstream African-American,” if I may ask? Tyler Perry? Oprah? Kevin Hart? Reverse the situation and imagine if George Bush said the same thing. It would make heads explode.

6. When he introduced Barack Obama in 2008 as “Barack America.”
Barack Obama, craziest moments from uncle joe biden, craziest joe biden moments
In all seriousness, if there were a presidential candidate whose last name was already “America,” they could run as a communist and win the Republican vote.

7. He told a wheelchair-bound senator to “stand up.”
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Almost immediately afterwards, he recognized his mistake and uttered an apologetic “Oh, God love you, what am I talking about?” Nice rebound, Joe.

8. He said Hillary Clinton was more qualified to be the vice president than him, and that she should’ve probably been elected instead.
Hillary Clinton, craziest moments from uncle joe biden, craziest joe biden moments
In September of 2008, Biden said, “Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be Vice President of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.” Considering the tsunami of shit Hillary is wading through at the moment, Biden was probably still the wiser choice in retrospect.

9. He stereotyped Indians as 7-Eleven and Dunkin’ Donuts workers.
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Speaking to an Indian gentleman in 2006 about the large number of Indian-Americans in his home state, Biden claimed “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.” I’m not joking, either.

10. When he said Somalis drive an “awful lot” of cabs.
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A bit more benign than the Indian comment, Biden said in February concerning Somalis: “I might add if you come to the train station with me you’ll notice I have great relationships with them because there’s an awful lot driving cabs and are friends of mine.”

Joe, maybe it’s time to lay off the color commentary altogether.
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