Happy Mother’s Day. Header Photo: Jennifer A Smith (Getty) / Mike Primavera (Twitter)
You know what mom wants the most for Mother’s Day, right? It’s not flowers and it’s not some sort of cookware that she’ll never use. More than anything, she wants you to read her a list of funny Mother’s Day tweets! OK, maybe that’s not at the top of her list, but it’ll definitely make brunch a little more enjoyable, right? Here are 25 of the funniest jokes for mom from some very funny people on the Internet.
The Funniest Mother’s Day Tweets Of All Time
what did I get my mom for Mother’s Day? the same thing I got her last year: me not being pregnant
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) May 10, 2015
Rite Aid was out of Mother’s Day cards pic.twitter.com/oL5YOoWboO
— Aaron Chewning (@AaronChewning) May 10, 2015
Cool Mother’s Day picture, your mom looked kinda hot before she had to raise you
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) May 10, 2015
Happy Mother’s Day! Are you sure you aren’t your husband’s second family? Does he travel for work? You never know. Snoop around.
— Timothy Simons (@timothycsimons) May 10, 2015
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms’ who don’t vaccinate their kids!!! Can’t wait for polio to make a comeback!!! It’s been WAY too long!!!
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) May 10, 2015
I was 10 lbs when I was born so I try to at least call my mom once a Mother’s Day.
— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) May 10, 2015
Happy Mother’s Day to the one of the 2 gay dads that’s a little more womanly!
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) May 10, 2015
Happy Mother’s day to a special lady who still loves me even though I pooped my pants for over a year after we first met.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) May 10, 2015
I imagine Mother’s Day gets really awkward and confusing on Game of Thrones.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 9, 2015
[hands mom flowers on Mother’s day]
thanks for a life of sacrifice, these cost me twenty bucks
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) May 7, 2015
The best Mother’s Day card would have a little schmutz on it that needed to be wiped off with a lil mom spit™
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 10, 2015
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, even Hitler’s, I guess
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) May 10, 2015
When is Mother’s Day
How to apologize 4 missing Mother’s Day
How 2 get back on speaking terms
Best Skittles flavor
— Gwen (@msgwenl) May 11, 2015
“Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. You laid our eggs in the sand and took off. Almost all of us were eaten by birds.” – sea turtles
— John Moe (@johnmoe) May 10, 2015
Mother’s Day gift idea: Not asking her for money that day
— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) April 30, 2015
Happy Mother’s Day to the best, sweetest, most caring mother in the world and also to my mom!
— Justin Shanes (@justinshanes) May 12, 2014
Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you for only dropping me as a baby those few times.
— braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) May 11, 2014
Shake things up this Mother’s Day and give your mom a Vera Bradley bag full of cocaine.
— Anna Breslaw (@annabreslaw) May 4, 2015
Happy Mother’s Day, mom. pic.twitter.com/GIbG151VfE
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) May 10, 2015
Happy MOTHer’s day to all the moths out there. People think ur < butterflies but I got you, fam.
— Bored to Dadth (@markhoppus) May 10, 2015
Get your mother what she really wants this Mother’s Day ….spray paint the house? pic.twitter.com/2EoNnJmNMh
— PapeяWash© (@PaperWash) January 23, 2016
make sure to wish your mom a happy mother’s day in a cute and fun way! subtext: caitriona is my gf pic.twitter.com/WzyeUkvJB1
— chet porter (@chetprtr) May 11, 2014
In honor of Mother’s Day here’s my favorite text my mom has ever sent me pic.twitter.com/WSmcUEDpSl
— Brendan O’Hare (@brendohare) May 11, 2014
Bought my mom a mug that says “Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son.” I forgot to mail it to her, but I think she knows.
— Dan O’Brien (@OtherDanOBrien) May 11, 2014
text the guy you’re dating
Happy Mother’s Day… :/
— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) May 11, 2014