When I was kid, there were simpler days. Days in which we could live in harmony with Levi Strauss and Wrangler. If you had money you were busting Lucky Brand.
Hell, there were even the JNCO kids.
Of course I kept my shirt on …
And we can’t forget about the distressed look that comes back about every ten years.
But, but now. Now, we really do know the apocalypse is near.
Nordstrom is selling jeans with fake mud on them. And on top of that, they’re selling these fake mud jeans for $425.
Here they are in all their glory. The supplier, PRPS, “suggests” the $425 pair “shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.”
As you can imagine, the comments on these Barracudas are ripe.
The best take of all probably came from former Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe:
“This morning, for your consideration, I offer further proof that our country’s war on work continues to rage in all corners of polite society. Behold the latest assault from Nordstrom’s. The “Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans.”
Finally – a pair of jeans that look like they have been worn by someone with a dirty job…made for people who don’t. And you can have your very own pair for just $425.00.
The Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans aren’t pants. They’re not even fashion. They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic – not iconic.”
Oh, and don’t forget, there are these clear plastic jeans for sale too, which, of course, if you buy, you really do deserve to get punched in the face.
Or you can buy these: Anyone Interested in $1,800 Jeans That Unzip In The Back To Show Off Your Entire Ass?
Josh Helmuth is a contributor for Mandatory and the editor of Crave Sports.