Guy Wants To Show His Penis In Court To Prove His Girlfriend Choked During Sex

Objection!

Bryan Brunatiby Bryan Brunati
Photo: 3drenderings (Getty)

This dude really is going the extra mile to prove his innocence.

While this useless guy jumped to his death to avoid being punished for his crimes, one Florida man is willing to show his penis to the court in order to prove that his girlfriend choked as a result of oral sex. Um, what?

The man is 65-year-old Richard Henry Patterson, and he is accused of murdering 60-year-old Francisca Marquinez in her bedroom in October 2015. But Patterson says his large penis is to blame, even though he already admitted to a friend that he choked his girlfriend.

Guy Wants To Show His Penis In Court To Prove His Girlfriend Choked During Sex

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“I choked her. I choked Francisca,” Patterson tells his friend. But Patterson’s lawyer, Ken Padowitz, tells a different story.

“He said he choked her. He never said he strangled her,” Padowitz said. Man, lawyers really are dumpsters on legs.

Patterson also said this to the same friend:

“My meds are making me crazy and I can’t function thank you though…If I need to come to your house I will drive. I need time to think. I did something terrible.” Patterson even texted his daughter this: “Your dad did something really bad last night and I’m so so sorry.”

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Photo: Facebook

While Marquinez’s autopsy did not show any signs of trauma or bruises to her neck, her body was in the early stages of decomposition because she had already been dead for about ‘eight to 24 hours’ before detectives discovered her.

If the court actually allows Patterson to show his junk, it would be done in private with only the judge, lawyers and the jury present.

Patterson is charged with second-degree murder.

h/t The LADbible

And then we have this genius: Ohio Man Throws Feces In Court After He’s Sentenced To 40 Years In Prison For Armed Robberies