Man Masturbates In Public Because He ‘Hates Portland’ So Much

That's so hipster of him.

Bryan Brunatiby Bryan Brunati
Photo: DC_Colombia (Getty)

Now that’s one classy headline.

So now that you folks have heard about the dude who was caught masturbating on a sidewalk, and about the detective that was busted looking inside women’s windows while masturbating, it’s time to hear about a dude that hates Portland, Oregon so much he decided to masturbate in public. Let us explain.

Let’s all meet Terry Lee Andreassen. Andreassen was recently arrested after he was busted with, according to the affidavit, “his erect penis exposed to the public while he masturbated vigorously.” Once Andreassen spotted police he put his junk away and began to walk away. But while tons of dudes are busted masturbating in public I’m sure, it was Andreassen’s reason for doing so that really put him in the news.

So why was Andreassen masturbating in public? Because he “fucking hates Portland” and he wanted to go back to prison. Oh, the 59-year-old was also on meth. So yeah, that probably had something to do with it, too.

Man Masturbates In Public Because He ‘Hates Portland’ So Much

oregon crime

But don’t worry, Andreassen has some experience with this as he has convictions for public indecency dating way back to 2001. Good going, man. One of these incidents includes Andreassen “stroking his penis outside of his pants” and “staring at several females in the bar that were standing in line.” This dude is just charming as hell.

Andreassen is currently booked at the Multnomah County Inverness Jail.

h/t UNILAND

Maybe he should head to Italy: Italian Supreme Court Says Masturbating In Public Is Legal