Do People Who Own Dogs Live Longer?

Hell, I'll take two of them.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: Peter M. Fishe (Getty)

Well, they for sure pick up more shit than those who don’t.

According to The Verge, a recent study in Sweden revealed that “dog owners had a 20 percent lower risk of dying compared to people who didn’t have a dog.” It was even better news for dog owners who lived with just their dogs instead of another human being, as “they had a 33 percent lower risk of death and an eight percent lower risk of cardiovascular disease, like stroke and heart failure.”

Do People Who Own Dogs Live Longer?

The study was published in Scientific Reports, which is obviously a science journal and not a smut magazine, after researchers followed “3.4 million Swedish people with no heart disease over a period of 12 years” regardless of whether or not they owned a dog. The conclusion was pretty straight forward:

Those who had a dog were found to have a lower risk of death due to cardiovascular disease or other causes during the 12-year follow-up, and dog owners who lived alone had a lower risk of cardiovascular disease, as did people who had hunting dogs compared to other breeds.

So I guess if it comes down to hanging on to your psychotic girlfriend or adorable chihuahua puppy, you now know which one is scientifically proven to be better for you.

But what would be the point? Do Men Who Lose Their Testicles Live Longer?