This Week In Tweets – Vol. 7

This week; Shaq RETIRES?!, Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan go toe-to-toe and Ashton Kutcher and P. Diddy promotes alcohol awareness. Of course you’re going to read on...

Nash Herringtonby Nash Herrington

I wonder why they aren’t? Check it out… Oh. Right.


What a strange coincidence; I’ve spent the last few days scribbling the lyrics to Born This Way on my bedroom wall using my own faeces. Can I be a Little Monster Now? Oh PLEASE can I?


And now for the weekly segment I like to call “Whorish Words That Have Dribbled out of Ke$ha’s Mouth”…

Thank you, Ke$ha.


Shit. My time machine worked! It’s 1989 again!


…and because of the lack of ice, they will have no way to lessen the pain! Whitney, you evil genius!


Ashton Kutcher will be portraying Jake’s slightly retarded older brother in the upcoming series of Two and a Half Men.


Thanks for helping me out with this one, Ashton.


Ah yes, that last bastion of rap culture; f*ck hoes, shoot .45’s and drink responsibly.


Shaq may be retiring, but Kazaam will continue to live on in our hearts.


Hold on a sec there – your Grandma can text? Wow. Mine still thinks that Google is the name of a guy who sits alone in an office block waiting for her to ask him questions.


The hour was originally defined in ancient civilisations (including those of Egypt, Sumeria, India and China) as either one twelfth of the time between sunrise and sunset or one twenty-fourth of a full day. In either case the division reflected the widespread use of a duodecimal number system (counting with each thumb the spaces between the joints of the other finger on the same hand, i.e. 3 x 4 = 12) and the equally widespread tendency to make analogies among sets of data (12 months, 12 zodiacal signs, 12 main compass points, 12 hours, a dozen). Hence why there are only 24 hours in one day.

Hope that clears everything up for you, Kelly.