Put Her in Her Place

If you can't put her in your place, put her in her place... or something like that...

Lane Cummingsby Lane Cummings

“Leave us alone” – “I don’t need a drink” –  “Go away, we’re talking”

Other guys would just slip away, embarrassed by the barrage of negativity and afraid of being accused of stalking or being deemed a “creepy guy.”

Mindless retorts like “whatever” just aren’t going to cut it around here. You need to not only be creative, but you need to cut into her self esteem, letting her know that you see through the heels and the shellacked veneer of make-up. You see her insecurities quivering in the moonlight and you’re going to throw them right back in her face.  


You’d look a lot better 7 lbs. lighter.                                           

Ha ha! Every girl secretly wonders if she’d look a lot better if she lost like say, 5 lbs. You’re getting her where she lives when you make it clear, oh honey no, it’s not 5 lbs. you need to lose, it’s 7! You’re taking a buried insecurity and ramping it up. You might get and F-you retort, but hell, she’s not going to forget you, or this moment.


You’re dressed like an escort for the Armenian Mafia.

Now this is neat! Every girl, before she leaves the house of a night out, looks at her outfit, and wonders if she looks too trashy. Am I showing too much skin? Is my butt covered well enough? Is this top too low cut? Well, you’re serving it on up to her, by letting her know that YES, YOU HOOCH, are dressed like a HOOCH. If you really feel minimized and dismissed by a girl or a group of girls, ask if they’re working tonight and throw down $40 bucks and request a handjob in the john. And, since most girls don’t know anything about the Armenian Mafia, it sounds ominous and obscure, adding to the sting of the insult.


Wax the ‘stache.

Two things: a guy once said this to me. AND: I do not have a mustache. Seriously, this remark sent me into the throes of self-consciousness, self-scrutiny and despair. A mustache?! Did I have a mustache?! What do I do now?! How long have I lived with said mustache?! Seriously boys, this one is pure gold. It is tried and true. Use it wisely.


When you bend over I can see "it" tucked in.

Sha-zaam!! Use this for the most toxic lady in the club, the one who secretly hates men and herself. Save this little retort for a woman who really insults you and make sure there is an audience near by, because it’s going to go over really well with them, as everyone loves a good tranny joke.

And honestly, isn’t it a little accurate? You know there have been times when you’ve seen a really done up woman and thought, “Yep, she could pass for a tranny.” I know it’s not just me, people.