Truth in Advertising: 8 Corrected Movie Taglines

You know those blurbs on movie posters? They’re called taglines. Most of them suck. Here’s what they should’ve been.

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

Everyone has seen them before – “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.” Often, taglines are a very useful marketing tool.  But let’s face it, most of them can be misleading.

We hear at CraveOnline have decided to come up with some real movie taglines.

Check ‘em out:

 

Casino

Tagline: “No one stays at the top forever”

What the tagline should have been: “Joe Pesci and Sharon Stone uncomfortably have sex in this… Yeah, we didn’t think we could talk her into it either, but apparently, she really wants the Oscar. “

 

District 9

Tagline: “You are not welcome here.”

What the tagline should have been: “Capitalizing on two of humans greatest fears: racism and exploding via laser-gun.”

 

The Green Lantern

Tagline: “In Our Darkest Hour, There Will Be Light”

What the tagline should have been:  “200 million bucks and a ring of limitless potential used to create the most uninteresting shit ever. ”

 

Juno

Tagline: “A comedy about growing up… and the bumps along the way.”

What the tagline should have been: “What have we done? Diablo Cody has a career?  Dear god, what have we done???”

 

American History X

Tagline: “Some Legacies Must End”

What the tagline should have been: “Did you see that!?! Did you see what he just did to that guy on the curb!?! HOLY F*CKING SHIT!!!”

 

Cowboys & Aliens

Tagline: “From the Director of Iron Man…”

What the tagline should have been: “From the director of Iron Man comes a film worthy of the director of Showgirls.

 

Face/Off

Tagline: “In order to catch him, you must become him.”

What the tagline should have been: “The chaos of violence, the purity of revenge, Nicolas Cage at his over-acting best.”

 

Scarface

Tagline: “He was Tony Montana. The world will remember him by another name…SCARFACE.”

What the tagline should have been: “Giving you a movie poster for douche bags to put in their college dorm rooms since 1983.”

 

Keep it tuned to CraveOnline for more hilarity!