Superfluous Lexicon #9

Six letters I apparently forgot came at the beginnings of words sometimes.

Zack S. Westby Zack S. West

As Superfluous Lexicon approaches double digits, I felt the need to look back on what I had accomplished. Turns out, there were six letters that none of the words I chose started with. This is embarrassing, because I’m pretty sure they’re everyone’s 6 favorite letters. So, to remedy it, this weeks lexicon is one word starting with each K, U, W, X, Y and Z. Or I could just use the 'word' Kuwxyz and call it a day. Pronounced cooooo-WHUK-zeez, meaning to make shit up on the fly to make one's life slightly more convenient. It’s a thing now. Spread that shit around.

 

BAM! Started with Z. Bet you didn’t expect that, didja? I don’t follow the rules. Anyway, the legendary Zoetrope is the original moving picture. Working on similar principles as a flip book, the Zoetrope was a circular piece of paper with a series of images printed on the inside, and… okay, I can’t really describe it concisely. It was a small round Victorian thing that you spun and looked into and because of the way light works it looked like a running horse or a cat playing the piano or whatever they were into back then. The problem with the Zoetrope was that you could only play the same few frames in a loop, so the plots were only slightly more advanced than a Michael Bay flick.

Example Sentence: Did Victorian nobles who were losing public favor ever “leak” a Sex Zoetrope?

 

Warble, in my opinion, is one of the top 5 all time cutest words a toddler can say. Think about it for a second. Right?  It's like wa-wr-buw. Freaking adorable. Anyway, a warble is a tremor in one’s voice, though it can be used in other contexts as well. But the primary application is that thing pop singers do on the high notes that they think is so very cool but is actually completely annoying and horrible. On the other end, it also describes that funny voice boys make when going through puberty. So I guess for Justin Bieber, it’s the same end.

Example Sentence: If the New Directions from Glee would just warble less, maybe they wouldn’t need to spend so much on autotune… like their rivals the Warblers.

 

Okay, before I get started here, understand that this is a sad word. It is an epically sad word sad word. But it’s also a great word. When someone is kithless it means they have no family or friends. It’s basically the saddest anyone can be. It’s probably what leads most serial killers to become, well, serial killers. Do you think the Son of Sam would have had to talk to a dog if he had people to speak to? The entire cast of Requiem for a Dream were individually kithless by the end. And don’t get me started on a kithless Christmas. Mostly cause I can't say it without giggling, and that's rude.

Example Sentence: But the saddest thing in the world is an orphan with a lisp trying to tell someone he’s kithless.

 

Despite having ‘quit’ in the middle, ubiquitous doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit. Obviously. A word doesn’t have consciousness. Duh. While lacking sentience, ubiquitous does cover quite a bit. I mean, that’s what it means. All over the place. It’s kind of like a synonym for omnipresent, but there is a slight difference. Omnipresent is one thing that is everywhere at once. Ubiquitous is a great deal of the same thing that is everywhere. So a hypothetical God would be omnipresent, while air is ubiquitous. Space is both, but as we know, space is straight up gangster.

Example Sentence: Yo momma’s so fat, she is literally ubiquitous.

 

I am about to prove my incredible psychic prowess. You think that yarrish is a slang term for pirate-talk, don’tcha? Well, so did I. We were both wrong, but you should be glad. Yarrish actually describes foods or other ingestibles with a rough, dry taste. Suddenly, that's a freaking useful word, right?  I think the ultimate example of that is the skin of a kiwi, but because most people aren’t dumb enough to eat the skin of a kiwi, I’ll have to try to find another example. Hrm… gimmie a minute. Gravel? Unused cat litter? I guess I should be more discriminate about what I put in my mouth.

Example Sentence: Toasted coconut, peanut brittle and stale dark bread are all yarrish… me matey.

 

While I’m sure a lot of people know this word, I feel like the few that don’t really need to. I mean, xenophobia is one of the greatest enemies of rational thought on the planet. It’s a fear, as I’m sure you caught from the ‘phobia’ part, specifically of foreigners or strangers. It’s one of the primary contributing factors to the dreadful ‘Us vs. Them’ mentality that gets us into all these nasty little wars. Originally, it was helpful, because it kept us alive when other tribes or cultures tried to murder us all. Now it just makes us scream “Go back to Abbottabad, terrorist!” to the Bodega owner down the street. By the way, his name is Miguel, and he’s from Equador, jackass.

Example Sentences: Xenophobia, not to be confused with Xenuphobia — the fear of Scientology – which is also known as common sense.