With Conrad Murray, the King of Pop’s Doctor, on trial this week for possibly prescribing unnecessary medication to Michael Jackson resulting in his death. However, as these things go, it is never that simple.
Theories aplenty exist for what might have happened to the Thriller star, and we here at CraveOnline have found the nuttiest of the nuttiest.
Take a look for yourself and decide what really happened.
Michael Jackson’s face collapsed upon itself like a dying star. With the amount of “supposed” surgeries that Mr. Jackson had undergone, it is no surprise that the supple tendons, muscle, and skin holding Michael’s face together shut down and collapsed like an imploding building. This would most likely lead to his death by suffocation… Or, you know, whatever death is most commonly associated with face collapse.
Michael Jackson is on the moon. Many speculate that after a concert appearance in the early nineties, Michael bid this planet farewell and left for his new home on the moon. Michael’s “moon home” apparently has three swimming pools, 14 ½ baths, and a crater converted into a bed with tons of stuffed animals and comfy blankets for him and his guests… Why the moon? Because there are no ignorant people on the moon.
James Cameron is secretly directing him in a sequel to Captain EO. Hailed as a visionary project at the time of it’s making, Captain EO – both film and adventure ride – have seen sales wane in the past years. This leads many to speculate the Mr. Jackson did in fact, fake his own death in order to compose a sequel helmed by Avatar visionary, James Cameron. Michael Jackson will play the strong Cameron-esque female lead
Michael Jackson was assassinated by… The Boondock Saints. Avenging south Boston from possible child abuse, the Saints, Connor and Murphy, took it upon themselves to take out Mr. Jackson in a staged suicide. Many people believe this to be false given the lack of a gay Willem Dafoe.
Michael Jackson is the last protector of the Holy Grail. In a twist worthy of Dan Brown, Mr. Jackson has faked his own death in order to protect the Holy Grail from the eeeevilll Catholic Church. Most of Michael’s negative press was just a ruse to make you think he would be the least likely candidate for such a mission. However, when the sun reaches high noon over Neverland Ranch, a the bookcases turn around and a path to heaven reveals itself.
Michael Jackson was torn apart by wild chimps for his mistreatment of Bubbles. Micheal Jackson did not die in a drug overdose, but rather, he was torn to shred by his beloved pet, Bubbles. This scenario is thought to be the inspiration for Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
CraveOnline is Dope.