9 WTF Drink Recipes

You think a couple of Jager Bombs will lead to a fun night? Think again!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

Ever have a “Chilly Willy?” It’s an ice-cold shot of vodka snorted up the nose. It exists. My record if fifteen in one night. 8th grade was a tough time in my life. But, believe it or not, there are crazier drinks out there than that.

Tirelessly, we here at CraveOnline have scoured the LA bar scene to find the most insane WTF drink recipes. Thirty hangovers and seven court-dates later, this is what we found:


Name: “The Two-Can Sam”

What goes in it? 1 can of Shlitz, 1 can of Coor’s light, 1.5 oz. of parrot blood, drained over ice and served in a coconut.

Who drinks it? The victorious warriors of the South American Xchate Tribe after they’ve ritualistically warred and mutilated the genitals of their enemies.

What does it taste like? Shitty beer and fruit loops.


Name: “The Cougar”

What goes in it? Equal parts Stoli and menopause medicine.

Who drinks it? Musty vagina-ed women over 50 who shop at Forever 21.

What does it taste like? Soccer practice and rape.


Name: “The Batman”

What goes in it? 2oz. oak-barrel-aged bourbon and the shame of your dead parents.

Who drinks it? Sappy, depressed billionaires… Bruce Wayne, Howard Hughes.

What does it taste like? Injustice.


Name: “The Lonesome Cowboy”

What goes in it? 1 part rye, 2 parts bitters, 1 part OJ, and 1 oz. rattlesnake semen.

Who drinks it? Used car salesmen, people who wear bolo ties.

What does it taste like? Striking oil… when you have to poop the next morning.


Name: “The Castlevania”

What goes in it? 1.5 oz. Campari, 1.5 oz. Midori, 3 oz.  rice wine, and garnish with a lemon.

Who drinks it? Vampires and Japanese video game programmers.

What does it taste like? Groovy synth and levels that never, ever end.


Name: “The Keanu Reeves”

What goes in it? Pineapple juice, rum, sex wax, and crushed Xanax.

Who drinks it? People who talk like they’re looking through you.

What does it taste like? Kung-Fu


Name: “The Bachman”

What goes in it? Red wine and crazy.

Who drinks it? Right-wing fundamentalist nut cakes.

What does it taste like? Like the bottom of a church rectory.


Name: “The Kobra Kai”

What goes in it? 1 can of dark beer, 2 oz. cranberry juice, and Bonzai tree clippings.

Who drinks it? Bleach-blonde guys who dress up as skeletons for Halloween.

What does it taste like? Being bitch-slapped by Ralph Macchio.


Name: “The Macho Man”

What goes in it? 1 bottle of whiskey blended with a T-bone steak and an eighth of cocaine.

Who drinks it? People who physically abuse themselves for money without health insurance.

What does it taste like? The Intercontinental Championship. 


CraveOnline is Dope.