The new Ben Stiller/Eddie Murphy comedy Tower Heist is coming to theaters on November 4th. Just three weeks after that, Universal Pictures will release Tower Heist on Video on Demand (VOD) for $59.99, which as we all know by now is just a douchebag way of saying "sixty dollars." What's the problem? Geez, where to even start. We could right a big stupid essay, but instead let's just boil it down to a few talking points.
Movie studios seem to think that the $60 price range will placate theater owners, who are angry about the already short period between theatrical and home video releases. They also seem to think that it won't just enrage audiences. Presumably they think the price range will make sense for families and gatherings of more than six people, assuming they each fork over their own fair share. Allow us to dramatize…
"Hey Dave! You want to see Tower Heist?"
"You want to come over to our house where the kids will have no sense of public propriety and we can interrupt the experience constantly with phone calls and unrelated conversation?"
"We're paying $60 to see this marquee film only three weeks after anyone else with a vested interest in the motion picture has! It's a steal!"
"No it's not."
"But your share is just $5 because we invited a bunch of other people from the neighborhood!"
"I hate you and everything you stand for, Jim."
Seriously, the biggest sticking point is this: near as we can figure, nobody we know even wants to see Tower Heist in the first place. But beyond that, even filmmakers are getting in on the argument. Tower Heist director Brett Ratner doesn't even approve of this idea. Right now, this is being considered a test of this new distribution model, and will only be offered in Atlanta and Portland, Oregon.
Do you live there? Would you pay $60 to see Tower Heist?
CraveOnline will be back with more industry silliness after we do lunch.