12 Computers React To Steve Jobs’ Death

Here’s what Macintosh 128K, the original iMac, Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh and others have to say.

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

The passing of Apple CEO and co-founder Steve Jobs prompted reverent quotes from celebrities, politicians and whatever Kim Kardashian is supposed to be. However, what about the computers themselves? What do they have to say about the death of the great inventor who thought different(ly)? I caught up with some Apple machines, both old and new, so I could upload their input to you:


iMac G3

“Today, I remember a great man who gave me life. It’s always going to feel like there’s a part of me that’s missing, and I’m not referring to an internal floppy drive. Those things were totally for suckers, am i right?”


Macintosh 128K

“At one time, I said ‘Hello.’ Now I say ‘Goodbye.’

Also, I continue to say, ‘please take me out of the storage unit.’ I once retailed for $2500 and now I’m the fourth leg of a broken sofa. I’d like to throw a hammer at somebody.”


PowerBook 100

“Do you see that… around my 9-inch LCD display? No, that’s not water damage… those are tears… computer tears…! No, wait, sorry. That actually is water damage. Still, I’m very sad about Mr. Jobs’ passing.”


Mac Mini G4

“When I heard the news… I hadn’t talked to MacBook Air in two years, that pompous son of a bitch, but he called me and we finally buried the hatchet." [ed. Mac Mini G4 began tearing up.]

"This interview is over.” [image via]


Twentieth Anniversary Mac

“Have you ever noticed that I’m featured in several episodes of ‘Seinfeld?’ Jerry I’m cool with, but what’s the deal with Kramer? That guy is so strange. Keep him away from my SCSI drive, if you—What’s that? Steve Jobs is… well, why didn’t you say that in the first place? Now I'm going to sound like a complete jackass.”


Macintosh TV

“I wasn’t created by Steve Jobs, but I’m pretty sure I inspired his Apple TV. Man, I wish I was created by Steve. I woulda been a lot better. Did you know I can capture still frames of television into PICT files? God, another thing I’m not proud of.”


Apple II






MacBook Air

“I’m the world’s thinnest notebook, remarkably light at under 3 pounds, but my heart is truly heavy with this news. When I heard… I hadn’t spoken with that boorish oaf Mac Mini G4 in ages, but he called me and I finally let bygones be bygones. How very noble of me.”


iPod, iPhone and iPad

 iPod: “At one time, Steve and I changed the world. Now Steve is gone and the Apple Store says my headphone jack will cost so much to fix, you might as well get an iPhone. What a life.”

iPhone: “Mourning the loss of a best friend? No, I don’t think there’s an app for that.”

iPad: “I’ll say the same thing as iPhone, only larger and wider.” [iPhone image via]


Power Mac G5

“He’s been reassigned to a folder labeled 'iClouds.' Shut Down in Peace, Mr. S.”


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Images from Wikipedia, header via.