Fast Food Is Good For You

Good for your soul at least

Kyle Krinerby Kyle Kriner

EDITORS NOTE: In the following story writer Kyle Kriner eats an unhealthy amount of fast food. repeatedly suggested he NOT do this. We made it clear we wouldn't pay for it, or his subsequent medical bills. I even went so far as to tell him I wouldn't be his wingman when he tried to get his fat butt a date. So please enjoy this article in the same way you enjoy and Edward Gorey picture. You can enjoy this because you don't have to eat it. We'll say again, you don't HAVE to eat it. Now I'm gonna go have a preemptive heart attack. 
No one can disagree, fast food is delicious.  Is it physically good for you?  Well, of course not.  But if you say you do not enjoy it on some level, you are not only lying, but you are pretentious and snobby.  There truly is something amazing about letting fatty greasy food just fall down your throat into your stomach.  Therefore,  I encourage all you hard working individuals to try to take a day off once in a while from your hectic routines, strict diets, and demanding workouts, and take part in what my friends I call "binging".  I have some photos here, documenting some of my recent binges. 

This is actually my latest binge.  Me and MC after Burger King.  But before we got dessert.

KFC is awesome.  But that many Snackers could put down an elephant.

This is before we started our assault on Del Taco.  My old roommate Alex (left) couldn't even finish his two burritos.  I should have cropped him out.

Here we have the aftermath of me and P-Nut's Del Taco binge.  Like I said, Alex couldn't finish.

This is right before me and P-Nut's most memorable accomplishment. Journey To McNugget Mountain!

After scaling McNugget Mountain.  Yattaaaa!!!!  Alex took the picture, he barely finished his Angus Burger.

See, doesn't that look like a ton of fun??  I've even got some epic Taco Bell binge pictures around here somewhere.
We all work hard.  We all deserve a break.  I personally have to treat myself to these kinds of things sometimes to avoid suicidal tendencies.  But anyway, fast food is something that can be and should be enjoyed in moderation.  I'm certainly not telling any healthy person to just fall off the wagon and start inhaling McFlurries everyday.  But I do encourage some "I don't give a s*** about my health" days.  I think it's important, and I think it helps us keep our sanity.  
So next time you feel your life getting a bit too heavy, grab a couple bucks, browse the value menu at the closest drive-thru window, and binge.  After that, I think things will seem just a bit brighter.