Men don’t write shopping lists. Men just walk up to the shop shelf and take exactly what they want with their hairy, manly hands; no forward planning, no deliberation, just brute force and pig-headedness. Men use this same technique when it comes to gift-giving at Christmas; rather than write down a list of what they believe their loved ones will want, or even take the time to ask them, they instead fling themselves into the mall with their arms outstretched and purchase whatever ends up within their grasp. When their girlfriend wakes up on Christmas morning and unwraps a pneumatic drill and a stapler, she’s just forced to accept it.
Unfortunately, your disdain for preparation has also meant that you’ve refused to notify anyone of what you would like for Christmas, meaning that for as long as you can remember you have been greeted on the 25th of December with nothing but gift vouchers for shops that you previously had no intention of ever venturing inside. Luckily Crave Online has created that list for you, including everything you could want this year from jolly ol’ Saint Nick. Print this page out, sneak it into your girlfriends’ handbag and leave the rest to fate.
iCade iPad/iPhone Arcade Cabinet
You didn’t even realise that you wanted one of these, but now that you’ve feasted your eyes on this little beauty you can’t imagine living your life without it, right? Allowing you to play classics from Asteroids to Pacman via your iPad/iPhone, the iCade’s seamless combination of the past and present is a wet dream for nerds the world over.
Buy from: Amazon
Price Range: £80
Immortal Video Sunglasses
We’ve all seen that video on YouTube of the dog with the camera strapped to its head, and as we watched life from the mutt’s perspective, we all secretly wished that there could be a way to record what we view in our day-to-day lives that was easier than gluing a Sony Cyber-shot to our faces. Fortunately, the Immortal Video Sunglasses let us do just that. With 4GB of built-in memory and a 3 megapixel camera, these glasses let you record your life as it happens. The ultimate gadget for the narcissists among you.
Buy from: i Want One Of Those
Price range: £180
In your lifetime you will have looked in the bathroom mirror and simulated being a Jedi approximately seventeen times. Most of these times you will have done so either naked or in your underwear, but with the Jedi bathrobe that’s all about to change. Made out of 100% cotton velour, you can take on the Sith Lords with both style and comfort.
Buy from: Play.com
Price range: £40
Dining Table Ping-Pong
Have you ever been at a party and thought to yourself “this is good and all, but it could really do with some Ping-Pong”? Well now’s your chance to right that wrong with your very own portable Ping-Pong set which, unless there’s a guy who’s brought cocaine and hookers, is sure to make you the life and sole of the party.
Buy from: GettingPersonal.co.uk
Price range: £18
Shower Shave Mirror with Radio
You drag yourself out of the shower at 7.30am. Tired after a rough night’s sleep and dreading traversing through the awful winter weather to get to the office, you suddenly realise that you’ve forgotten to shave. You can’t shave after showering, that’s just unnatural, like putting your socks on before your underwear. Fortunately, this shower mirror will ensure that never again will you accidentally leave the house looking like the guy from Into The Wild, with its anti-fog system meaning that no amount of condensation will stop you from becoming that clean-shaven, handsome man your mom always said you could be.
Buy from: MenKind.co.uk
Price Range: £17