5 Real Books That Teach Fake Languages

Learn a fictional language instead of a useful real one!

Geoffrey Goldenby Geoffrey Golden

Learning a foreign language, like Spanish or Chinese, is very useful in the job market. Learning a fictional language that a race of imaginary creatures speak is also something you can do with your time. Here are five books you can pay real money for to learn made-up languages. Some of them are a lot more serious than others – see if you can spot which is which.


An Introduction To Elvish

It only teaches Lord of the Rings elvish, not North Pole elvish. [via]


How To Speak Wookiee

Never call a Wookie “waaaagh!” They can only call each other that.


The Klingon Dictionary

Nuqjatlh? [via]


How To Speak Dragonese

It’s best to speak it with a British accent.


How To Speak Zombie

Brains brains brains brains?


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via, 2.