We watched the 2012 Celebrity Big Brother opening show for the same reason that we always do – to judge, ogle and laugh at the unsuspecting Z-listers that they've managed to cajole into humiliating themselves on national television this year. We're not proud of it, but when we watch former Hollywood stars like Michael Madsen amble their way to the entrance we take a small amount of pleasure in watching it; "from Reservoir Dogs to reality TV," we say to ourselves. "He might aswell be giving out handjobs in pub toilets".
So aside from watching Celebrity Big Brother to feel better about ourselves thanks to the reassuring knowledge that celebrities also have to do some things for money that they're not proud of, we also like to see which glamour models we'll be spending the next month or so watching undress; y'know, like a socially acceptable variation of a guy in a bush with binoculars and a sandwich.
Usually glamour models don't last long in the Big Brother house, what with the shows demographic (women) and their typical lack of any discernible personality traits (other than the ability to survive freezing temperatures in minimal clothing) usually leading to them getting the boot early on. Unfortunately, this also appears to be the case for Georgia Salpa.
We've seen good looking women in the house before. We've had Lucy Pinder, Imogen Thomas and Orlaith McAllister, all of whom are worthy of a multitude of awkward chat-up lines and chloroform. But none can even hold a candle to the shapely flame of Georgia Salpa.
Imagine Kim Kardashian. Now imagine Kim Kardashian without the fame, irritating amount of wealth and droning voice. What you're left with is the Irish, slightly more reasonably proportioned Georgia Salpa, a previously relatively unknown model who upon entering the house instantly scaled the UK trending topics, thrusting her way into men's hearts whilst they simultaneously thrust their hands down the front of their trousers.
35% of all arguments between men and women stem from what they should watch on TV. Men want nothing more than to watch balls being kicked along grass and to have endless streams of stats relayed to them by blokes in suits, while women prefer watching thin people turning fat. When Georgia entered the Big Brother house both genders nearly got what they wanted; men could ogle Miss Salpa, while women could fantasize about that one who looks like a fox from The Only Way Is Essex taking them for a spray tan.
Now no one is going to get what they want as Georgia is set to evicted tonight ahead of human haircut Andrew Stone. Who does this leave us with? Those two blonde Playboy twins and Ryan Giggs' sister-in-law who ended up shagging him? So what you're telling us, Big Brother, is that if we want to get our jollies whilst watching your programme now we either have to have a thing for incest or adultery?
Men, it's time to unite. In Big Brother's past we have seen Pinder, Imogen Thomas, Vanessa and Chanelle all taken our way from our sweaty grasp. Don't let the same happen to Georgia Salpa.
Follow @CraveOnlineUK for all the latest women!