In case you haven’t noticed, people can be a little militant when it comes to Star Wars. It’s cool to have passions, but it important to remember not to become a fanatic about them.
We here at CRAVE have developed a little quiz with the aid of our neo-futuristic, state-of-the-art “quiz making machine,” (also known as a bored guy in the office) and come up with a little test to see if you are a hardcore Star Wars fan or a possible terrorist.
Take the quiz and find out!
1. If I die in defense of Star Wars I,
a.) “What? That would never happen…”
b.) “I’m not really a *huge* Star Wars fan.”
c.) “I will have died an honorable death.”
d.) “I will be greeted on Yavin by seventy-two Jabba sex slaves.”
2. George Lucas’s work, to me, represents…
a.) “Great weekend filler on SpikeTV.”
b.) “A couple of cool movies, I mean, for the time…”
c.) “The most breath-taking pieces of cinema ever assembled.”
d.) “The reason I have been put on this earth, for without, there would be no reason to live.”
3. Non-canonical works of Stars Wars like books, video games, and TV are…
a.) “I don’t really care.”
b.) “Good, I guess. I liked Shadows of the Empire.”
c.) “They’re okay, as long as people don’t take them as gospel.”
d.) “They are a cursed mark on the glory that is Star Wars. Death to their creators and those who worship false idols.”
4. If I go to a con, my favorite character to dress up is (coolness measured by level of obscurity):
d.) The second saxophone player in the Mos Eisley band’s second cousin. Duh!
5. How do you feel about the immortal Vader line — “Noooooo!!!!” at the end of Revenge of the Sith?
a.) “I laughed my ass off — it was awful.”
b.) “I try to fast forward through it. It gives me douche chills.”
c.) “I grit my teeth and bare it.”
d.) “As it came from the mind of savior Lucas, it must be accepted as truth. No matter the cost.”
6. How do you feel when people say “George Lucas raped their childhood.”
a.) “People say that? Are you kidding me?”
b.) “I can see their point. If it’s not broke don’t fix it.”
c.) “Yeah man, that sonofabitch took everything from me!”
d.) “You cannot rape the willing. You hear me, George? Give me a jingle, you silver-haired sex-monster.”
7. You’re at a bar drinking with your Star Wars friends. A drunk guy starts shooting his mouth off about loving Jar Jar Binks. You:
a.) Wonder why the hell you have ‘Star Wars’ friends.
b.) Turn the other cheek and bury your head in your beer.
c.) Tell him he’s had enough and show him the door.
d.) Crack your bottle in-half over the table and tell you’ll cut him if he doesn’t get the f-ck out.”
8. Hayden Christiansen is:
a.) “Who? The guy that played young Darth Vader?”
b.) “A little stiff, acting-wise.”
c.) “A robot.”
d.) “Plans are being made currently to make sure he never hurts anyone again.”
9. People who say Star Trek is better are:
a.) “Who gives a sh-t?”
b.) “Entitled to their own opinions.”
c.) “Obviously misinformed by the biased liberal media.”
If you answered mostly (a) you’re missing out on one of the coolest movies ever!
If you answered mostly (b) you need to pick a side, pansy.
If you answered mostly (c) you need to talk this sh-t out with someone, fast.
If you answered mostly (d) the good people from Homeland Security and the Skywalker Ranch would like to have a word with you.
CRAVE Online is DOPE.