Quiz: Are You James Bond or a Rapist?

Take the quiz and find out here!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

Have you ever noticed that James Bond can be a bit forceful when it comes to women? While some people might call that aggression, others might call it ‘borderline rape.’

Have you ever wondered if you were smooth or creepy?

We here at CraveOnline have developed a little quiz to help you find out if you’re the most dangerous man in Mi6 or a boner-wielding madman.

Find out below:


1. The cute secretary begins to flirt with you…You:

a.) Politely nod and smile.

b.) Flirt back and maybe slip her your number.

c.) Slap her behind and tell her to shut her mouth, you’re James-f*cking Bond.

d.) Steal a stray hair of hers and add it to your collection.


2. You’ve been caught behind enemy lines with top-secret documents, you think:

a.) Damn! Not again!

b.) Time to use the laser watch!

c.) I’m going to have to screw a lot of women to get out of this one.

d.) Yes! Chinese prison, here I come!


3. You come back to your hotel room to find a naked woman waiting in your bed…You:

a.) Tell her to put some clothes on.

b.) Join the party and take off your pants.

c.) Demand she call a friend to join you both.

d.) Can’t maintain an erection unless she’s crying.


4. You’re playing a high-stakes poker game for world domination, what is going through your mind?

a.) I need a King of Hearts.

b.) I could use another martini, I’m starting to sober up.

c.) Why did I ever quit my career as a school bus driver?

d.) My gun silencer would make a great sex-toy.


5. Your favorite sexual conquest was…

a.) Kissy Suzuki.

b.) Pussy Galore.

c.) Xenia Onatopp.

d.) Sharon McStrugglesalot.


6. As a lover, what is your “finishing move?”

a.) The “Tower of London.”

b.) The “Moonraker.”

c.)  The “Goldeneye.”

d.) The “Judo-chop to the back of the head.”


7. What is your weapon of choice?

a.) A silenced Walther PPK.

b.) An AK-47

c.) An RPG.

d.) A rag soaked in chloroform and a pair of handcuffs.


8. What criminal organization scares you the most?

a.) The KGB.

b.) The Yakuza.


d.) “Take Back the Night.”


9.) How many lovers would you say you’ve had?

a.) Over 10?

b.) Over 100?

c.) Over 1,000?

d.) 7, conscious.


If you answered mostly (a), you’re not even James Bond, you’re Urkel.

If you answered mostly (b), you’re a blunt instrument of the Queen.

If you answered mostly (c), you might want to reexamine your views toward sex.

If you answered mostly (d), you don’t have a “license to kill” you have a license to be the “creepiest mother*cker on the planet.”


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