12 Films to Watch in March 2012

Should you see Wrath of the Titans or blow your money on John Carter instead? We've got your movie guide for the month!

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani


After the January/December doldrums, 2012 really gets going in March, with potential mega blockbusters like John Carter, The Hunger Games and Wrath of the Titans going up against big comedies and breakthrough indie smashes. It's going to be a tough month for the discerning moviegoer. What films should you spend your money on? We've got the answers in this, The 12 Films to Watch in March 2012!


Project X (Rated R)

Starring: Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper and Jonathan Daniel Brown

Directed by: Nima Nourizadeh

Opening: March 2

In the grand tradition of Bachelor Party, three lame high school seniors throw a hootenanny that spirals wildly out of control, with hilarious results. Alas, it has nothing to do with the 1987 Matthew Broderick/Helen Hunt movie of the same name.

CraveOnline’s Call: Producer Todd Phillips charmed the world with his Hangover movies, and there’s no reason to suspect his brand of rowdy, balls out humor can’t translate to Project X, even though he only produced it. The trailers seem like a wild time at the movies, and clearly balance the wish fulfillment aspects of the thin story with the concerns that the protagonists are going too far. We’re down for Project X.


Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (Rated R)

Starring: Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, John C. Reilly, Will Forte, Will Ferrell,
Zack Galifianakis, Twink Caplan

Directed by: Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim

Opening: March 2

The stars of “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” bring their unique blend of off-kilter comedy to the big screen, with a slew of celebrity cameos. The plot finds Tim and Eric taking over a rundown mall in order to recoup the losses of their “billion dollar movie,” which ran them afoul of their homicidal investors.

CraveOnline’s Call: Fans of the show will probably love seeing a 93 minute blast of Heidecker and Wareheim’s comic sensibilities, but if you’re not already a member of the cult, the film makes no effort to appeal to you. If anything, it might be the antithesis of humor.


The Ballad of Genesis and Lady Jaye (Unrated)

Starring: Genesis P-Orridge, Lady Jaye Breyer P’Orridge

Directed by: Marie Losier

Opening: March 9

An award-winning documentary about Genesis P-Orridge, whose bands Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV had an enormous influence on the industrial music scene. The film follows P-Orridge and his wife, Lady Jaye, who embark on what they call “The Pandrogyne Project,” which involved surgically altering their appearance to become one single entity.

CraveOnline’s Call: The subject matter may be outré, but Losier’s documentary paints the P-Orridges as social pioneers whose romantic expressions were not limited by social convention. If you have any interest in outsider sexuality, or music, it’s a documentary you simply have to see.


John Carter (Rated PG-13)

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Willem Dafoe, Mark Strong

Directed by: Andrew Stanton

Opening: March 9

Civil War vet John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) finds himself in the middle of a different bloody conflict when he’s teleported to the alien world of Barsoom… or as we like to call it, Mars.

CraveOnline’s Call: If there’s one “Must See” film of March, it’s John Carter, a grand old sci-fi spectacle that marks the live-action debut of director Andrew Stanton, who previously brought you the instant classics Wall-E and Finding Nemo. Don’t take our word for it, just see it for yourself.


Silent House (Rated R)

Starring: Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, Eric Sheffer Stevens, Julia Taylor Ross

Directed by: Chris Kentis and Laura Lau

Opening: March 9

Marthy Marcy May Marlene star Elizabeth Olsen fights off a home invasion, shot in real time, in one extended take.

CraveOnline’s Call: The directors of Open Water return with another gimmicky horror film, but that’s okay if the gimmick works. As long as the camerawork is smooth and Olsen can hold the screen by herself for 90 minutes, which we think she can, this looks like it could be an above-average genre scarefest.


21 Jump Street (Rated PG-13)

Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube, Rob Riggle, Ellie Kemper

Directed by: Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Opening: March 16

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum play underachieving cops who go undercover as high school students to expose a drug ring. Based on the TV series “21 Jump Street,” which made Johnny Depp a star. We’ve been assured that Depp has a cameo.

CraveOnline’s Call: Originally a dramatic series, this new 21 Jump Street has been reimagined as a comedy about how wacky it is to be an adult in high school. Been there, done that, although the addition of shootouts will probably be fun. If anyone could pull it off, it’s Jonah Hill (who also co-wrote the screenplay), but frankly we’re just not convinced that anyone can pull it off.


Casa de mi Padre (Rated R)

Starring: Will Ferrell, Gael Garcia Bernal, Diego Luna, Genesis Rodriguez

Directed by: Matt Piedmont

Opening: March 16

Will Ferrell stars as a Mexican cattle rancher who runs afoul of a drug kingpin in this Spanish-language satire of telenovelas.

CraveOnline’s Call: Will Ferrell seems to be testing the limits of his market appeal with Casa de mi Madre, a film with all of his usual schtick, but in a western, and n Spanish. That doesn’t turn us off though, since this looks like it could be Ferrell’s funniest film since Anchorman.


Detachment (Unrated)

Starring: Adrien Brody, Betty Kaye, Marcia Gay Harden, Lucy Liu, James Caan, Blythe Danner, Bryan Cranston, Christina Hendricks

Directed by: Tony Kaye

Opening: March 16

Adrien Brody plays a substitute teacher whose latest has a deeper connection to his latest assignment.

CraveOnline’s Call: For all his well-publicized shenanigans, Tony Kaye is a powerful director who reportedly got Brody’s best performance in years in Detachment. That’s enough for us. We’ll see it.


The Hunger Games (Rated PG-13)

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Elizabeth Banks,
Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland

Directed by: Gary Ross

Opening: March 23

An adaptation of Suzanne Collins’s best selling sci-fi novels, about a future dystopia in which boys and girls are made to fight to the death on national television. Jennifer Lawrence stars as a teenager who volunteers to save her younger sister’s life.

CraveOnline’s Call: We’re all thinking it… it’s a PG-13 Battle Royale. But it might also be a pretty good PG-13 Battle Royale. Unlike the Twilight novels, which had more brooding than conflict, this potential franchise has built in genre appeal, a kick-ass cast, and Gary Ross, a director who really knows what he’s doing. We’d say get your tickets now, but it’s already sold out.


The Raid: Redemption (Rated R)

Starring: Iko Uwais, Ananda George, Ray Sahetapy

Directed by: Gareth Evans

Opening: March 23

A SWAT team finds themselves trapped in a tenement complex overrun by gun-toting gangsters in this acclaimed action import from Indonesia.

CraveOnline’s Call: Oh man, we can’t wait to see this one. All the buzz points to The Raid – quizzically renamed The Raid: Redemption in America – being the new breakout foreign action smash, along the lines of Ong Bak or District B13. Maybe it won’t live up to the hype, but if it comes anywhere close it’s bound to be a hell of a film.


Wrath of the Titans (Rated PG-13)

Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Rosamund Pike, Ralph Fiennes

Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman

Opening: March 30

The sequel to 2010’s Clash of the Titans finds Perseus (Sam Worthington) trekking to the underworld to save Zeus (Liam Neeson), who has been kidnapped by his more evil offspring.

CraveOnline’s Call: A sequel to one of the worst films of 2010 has nowhere to go but up, but that’s small comfort. At least the trailers look more coherent than the last one. Honestly, we’re so sullied on this franchise that Wrath of the Titans is going to have to be one amazing f*cking film to wash the taste out of our mouths.


Mirror Mirror (Rated PG)

Starring: Julia Roberts, Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane

Directed by: Tarsem Singh

Opening: March 30

The director of the ultraviolent fantasy Immortals tries his hand at a family film, the first of two Snow White adaptations coming out this year.

CraveOnline’s Call: Oh, what a difference a trailer can make. We were pretty stoked to see what a master stylist like Tarsem Singh could do with a Grimm’s fairy tale, but after watching the stilted, badly punned preview we couldn’t care less. It’ll probably look pretty, but that’s as far as we’ll go until we start getting some real word of mouth.

Disclaimer: Release dates, and our opinions, are subject to change.