Decoding the Facebook: St. Patty’s Day!

Find out what your friends are really trying to say on ST. PATTY’S DAY!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

That wonderful drunken heathen holiday is upon us once again. Shamrocks, green beer, and broken promises sung by a frat boy while his girlfriend cries in the corner. This is a great time to be alive. And with the widespread use of social media – drunkards on St. Patty’s can update their statii for the entire world to see!

But do you suffer from obscure updates from your friends and family? Not worry – we here at CRAVE have developed a useful little tool in order to figure out what your friends are really trying to say on the day when everyone is a little Irish!

 

Jeff (5 minutes ago): May the wind be at your back and the ground rise up to meet you! – Irish Proverb.

What they’re really trying to say: “I ran over a kid last night while I was opening a new Guinness. I’ve been on the lam for about seven hours now.”

 

Trish (yesterday): IMMOIMOMIOMIOIOIBLAHIOINFONIFNOIINEFOINONIIIIIIIII…..

What they’re really to say: “I passed out on my keyboard.”

 

Bryan (about an hour ago): Two dollar pints and wings at O’Mally’s!!!

What they’re really saying: “Someone is going to poop in their sink tonight.”

 

Meegan (7 hours ago): Alright Brandy, you bitch. If you so much as look at Mike again I’ll knock your teeth right out of your ugly mouth.

What they’re really trying to say: “I have difficulty communicating with my mom.”

 

Steve (moments ago): OHMIGOD the Dropkick Murphy’s are the coolest band on the planet!

What they’re really trying to say: “Like most, I enjoy the music of the Dropkick Murphy’s until I sober up. Then it’s back Arvil Lavigne.”

 

Rachel (12 hours ago): I had the best St. Pat’s ever!!!

What they’re really saying: “I went to this bar and it was packed and soo loud and there were all these guys with video cameras and t-shirts and they kept buying me drinks and now when I woke up I have all these free t-shits… And a receipt from planned parenthood.”

 

Dan (6 hours ago): I’m going to have these handcuff bruises for weeks… I love you St. Patrick.

What they’re really saying: “Did you know it was illegal to pull down your pants and pee in the middle of a Wal-Mart?”

 

Missy (yesterday): I’ve never been so hungover in my entire life… kill me.

What they’re really trying to say: F*ck you, Ireland. You were most interesting with snakes.

 

Steve (moments ago): I woke up… and there was… so much blood!

What they’re really trying to say: “I thought I caught a leprechaun. It was a little red-headed kid. I shouldn’t have set those leprechaun traps… Damn this green beer!”

 

CRAVE ONLINE wishes you blood-free and safe Leprechaun hunting…