We Interview: Celebs Standing in Line for The AVENGERS!

Want to know who's in line for the Summer's biggest flick? We've got 'em here!

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

At only days away and counter, THE AVENGERS is set to open in the US!!! Midnight screenings have sold out, people are camping outside of theatres, and it looks like every man, woman, and child with the slightest intrest in summer blockbusters is going this year!

We here at CRAVE have done some fine journalistic reporting and found the countries hottest celebs standing in line with everyone else, just for a glimpse of this summer's first sure-to-be hit!

We were even able to ask them a few questions! Take a look:


Who? Elmer Fudd.

How long have you been in line? Since Wabbit season ended.

What part of the Avengers are you most excited for? The Incwedible Hulk.

How many potential sequels do you this this franchise could spawn?  There’s no end to the fwanchise possibiwities. Maybe you throw Elmah Fudd in at some point.

You want to be in The Avengers movies? I’ll put it to you dis way. I’d jwerk off evwee-one at Disney fo a chance to staw.


Who? Christopher Walken

How long have you been in line? Since December.

What part of the Avengers are you most excited for? I want to see Scarlett Johanssen’s… hot body kicking the ass of all those men. The way she just… dominates them is… so hot to me…. God, it’s so f*cking hot.

Are you aware that you have a full erection right now? Oh yeah, I’ve this bad boy throbbing since Easter.

You’re frightening a lot of children. Its nature to be afraid of what they don’t understand, but come the opening credits, everyone is going to know Walken pretty well.


Who? Aubrey Plaza

How long have you been in line? (rolls eyes) Who cares?

What part of the Avengers are you most excited for? …. Um, I dunno… The Hulk, I guess…

Why the Hulk? He’s just full of so much emotion, we’re very similar.

Are you aware that you’re very down-trodden a lot of the time? I’m diabetic.


Who? Super Mario

How long have you been in line? Two-a weeks-a!

Don’t you have a legitimate plumbing business anymore? I go broke!

So, you’re basically homeless standing in line for a movie? It’s-a me! Mario!

Answer my question — do you even have a ticket? I suck-a d*ck for a ticket!

Oh sweet Jesus! I poop-a in my own hat!


Who? Gary Busey

How long have you been in line? I’ve been out here, not only to experience the Avengers in 3D IMAX, but also in protest of those dirty Mexicans crossing our boarders.

Wow. Did not see that coming. It’s something every American must mine deep from within their own hearts to feel. The Avengers are the most perfect representation of that. Inside everyone is a tiger and that tiger must feed.

That sentence made no sense whatsoever. I’m also really excited to see where Joss Whedon will lead the franchise.

You’re insane. Yes, yes I am. Jesus is your savior.


Who? The Ultimate Warrior

How long have you been in line? Since the earth rose from the ashes and gave life to the blood-god Magenta!!!

What part of the Avengers are you the most excited for? The wicked will tremble at the sight of Orion’s spaceship from beyond the cosmos!!!

Are your iron crystals from Mount Hell-fire aligned?  Oh, I’ll probably have some Butterfinger bites. Maybe a Coke Zero.