It is said that men think about sex every 60 seconds. If that’s the case, then just how much of your life do you spend worrying that you’re doing it wrong? Here are 5 common mistakes that you (probably) make in bed:
1. You Ignore the Clitoris
Many men treat the clitoris like they would a gatecrasher at their party – they didn’t invite it, so they’re going to spend the rest of the night ignoring its existence aside from the few angry glances that they’ll cast in its direction throughout the evening. Unfortunately for these men, the stimulating of the clitoris amounts to roughly 75% of the enjoyment a female will get from sex, meaning that if you spend your time awkwardly avoiding it you’ll probably leave her disappointed.
2. You Get Too Rough Too Fast
While spending the rest of your sexual life slowly humping away in the missionary position isn’t exactly preferable, you don’t want your partner to leave the bedroom feeling like her vagina has just done 10 rounds with Tyson either. Rough sex can be good for both you and her if you initiate it slowly – start off with some light hair-pulling and grabbing and, if she doesn’t hop out of bed and threaten you with a restraining order, turn it up a notch. If you envisage your genitalia as Chuck Norris and her genitalia as a stack of cement blocks, you’re doing it wrong.
3. You Copy Porn
Seeing as how pornstars are paid to remove all of their clothes and penetrate someone/be penetrated by someone on camera, you should probably be able to reach the conclusion that they are a little less self-conscious than the average human beings. Therefore, turning your bedroom into an impromptu porn shoot and attempting to stage your own version of ‘Sluts With Big Asses 4’ with your partner probably won’t impress her as much as you think it might.
4. You Use Too Many Positions
There are many, many positions in which you can have sex, but that doesn’t mean that you have to try them all in one night. While you may think that flipping her up in the air like pizza dough and holding her upside down will make you look experienced and knowledgeable, in reality it’s just making sex hard for both of you to enjoy as you’re too tired to orgasm and too sweaty to still find each other as attractive as you did before you started suplexing her.
5. You Stop and Start
Men are more likely to cum first during sex because the penis is a very simple instrument that only requires a warm place and a bit of friction to get it over-excited. But just because you’ve been privileged with the power to ejaculate at will doesn’t mean that you’re going to abuse it, so just before you reach the point of climax you pull out of her, sit on the end of the bed for a while and think of some stained Y-fronts in order to calm you and your penis down.
But in case you haven’t noticed, this then leaves your partner in bed awkwardly waiting for you to regain your composure, so to save both of you of the embarrassment here’s a helpful suggestion: when you feel like you’re about to pop, pull out and suggest that you have sex standing up – it’s less easy to climax whilst standing up and the transition will give you just enough time to think about the aforementioned stained Y-fronts in order to maintain your dignity.