Found! Spider-Man’s Twitter Account!

Want to know what your favorite super heroes are tweeting? We do. Check it out.

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

There are a lot of Twitter imposters out there. Luckily, we here at CRAVE have found the one true SPIDER-MAN, and when he’s not out saving the kind citizens of New York City, he’s living it up the same as any other Brooklyn hipster with a love of photography and a disproportionately hot girlfriend. But, you might be surprised at what he likes to tweet about.

Take a look:

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Just stopped an assault outside a gay men’s bathhouse in Chelsea. The guy I saved dropped his wallet. Anyone know a “Tim Tebow?” #TebowontheDL

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: The Sinister Six just took a sinister shit on my weekend. #superherogripes.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: W/ @ReedRichards @Spybar. He just grabbed a chick’s ass from, like, 50 ft. away! #stretchyfriend #bonerpatrol

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Come see your friendly neighborhood Caroline’s Comedy Club this weekend. Happy Hour from 10-close. #standupspideyNYC.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Anniversary with @maryjane tonight. Spidey’s gonna knock at the backdoor tonight. #Mywifehasafirebush.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Follow @Eddiebrock at the @dailybugle. He needs all the fans he can get.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Just posted a video of Aunt May trying to play with an iPad! This bitch is sooo old!!! #Myauntpoopsherself.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Let’s pour one out for Gwen Stacey today. She was a good woman, who apparently had no idea how to nose dive. #deadgirlfriend.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: With great Vodka comes great hungover sh*ts. Never drinking with @Bengrimm again!

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: @andrewgarfield is a pretty good dude. Glad he’s playing me. Suck it Green Lantern! #ryanreynoldsblows.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Green Goblin just pumpkin-bombed my f*ckin photo studio. #gliderfucked.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Electro has the worst costume of my rogue’s gallery by far. He looks like a toy that was discontinued from a burger king kids meal because it gave kids leukemia.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: @jjjameson offered me 200 bucks for a pic of spidey’s penis! #mybossscrewssuperheros.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: Harry Osborn RIP. I wish you lived long enough to fix your dumb-looking hair. #discoverhairgeldouche.

 

PeterParker@AmzSpiderMan: With@flashthompson & @venom at the NY Knicks game. Linsanity can suck my spider d*ck. 

 

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