43 Things to Memorialize on Memorial Day

Old soldiers never die...and neither does this list!

Sam Wellerby Sam Weller

Times to remember, people to morn, things that are buried, and those that refuse to be. This Memorial Day, after the BBQ’s and sending our armed forces your dues, make sure to recall those things truly in need of memorializing.

It could be a person, place, or thing. And it has to be either mourned that it's gone, or noted for even existing in the first place. It's like what 9GAG is to Nicktoons.


Here’s what to really memorialize on Memorial Day:  


1. G.I. Joe: Retaliation moved back to 2013
 

2. The Age of Innocence


3. Pet rocks


4. Macho Man Randy Savage


5. The last beer in the cooler during a fishing trip


6. Print media
 


7. Trees


8. Grandma


9. Grandpa


10. Dan Harmon (too soon?)


11. That awkward $1.34 left on your Starbucks gift card


12. Your girlfriend going off birth control


13. College (recent graduates only)


14. Jalapeno Cheddar flavored 3D Doritos



15. The time before Star Wars Episode I came out


16. Michael Jackson


17. Diana Ross


18. Pootie Tang

 


19. Your Ex


20. That missing sock


21. “Free period”


22. Nate Dogg

 


23. Your dog


24. Your bank account


25. Your commitment to working out this year


26. Your social life via Diablo III

 

 

27. Reading books

 

28. That moustache you were “trying out”

 

29. Going to Blockbuster (LOL)

30. The righteous indignation you felt during [insert military conflict here]


31. Pogs


32. Jenna Jameson before plastic surgery



33. The current state of your liver


34. Chest hair


35. Limp Bizcut’s “Rollin” video

 

 


36. The first baseball game of summer


37. Your father’s knees


38. The time when you saved the party


39. Arcades



40. Quoting the first Anchorman movie


41. The passing of a loved one


42. Intelligibility of music before Skrillex arrived


43. Independence Day … the movie

 

 

Listen to my podcast Historectomy
 

To celebrate America, and all of its stars and stripes follow me @cravesam