In Mid-2009, after four years of only rewarding gamers with valueless GamerScore, Microsoft allowed game publishers to reward players with virtual items for their avatars to wear. While these items were also completely valueless, it meant your hard work playing games could earn you a sweet fake shirt with fake unicorn poop on it. What’s not to love, ammirite?!
After three years of gamers unlocking sweet swag, I’ve culled through the archives to pick out the ten coolest Avatar Awards available. Some are here because they are fun and unique, while others are just downright ridiculous…
The Best for Your Head
Raskulls Mask (Raskulls)
One of the most underrated games on Xbox Live Arcade is Raskulls. Developed by Halfbrick, the makers of Fruit Ninja, the game has an iconic main character known as Raskull. The look and design of this character is so cool, Raskull deserves to be around for many generations to come. That’s why this awesome King Raskull mask is on this list. It’s a great little cartoon disguise that should send a chuckle through everyone on your friends’ list.
Pink Stetson! (Dance Paradise)
Talking about laughs, this pink hat is ridiculous. For ladies only, it would be a cute little sassy number that shows everyone this girl is ready to go clubbing. She’s not just country, she’s a country girl. Really, this is a winner for everyone.
Emile’s Helmet (Halo: Reach)
This might be the reigning champ of Avatar Awards in the Xbox community. Released as an award for Halo: Reach, this is one of the most common Awards I have seen. Due to its distinct skull face mask, hardcore Halo nerds wear this piece proudly (and they should). A truly bad ass award to have.
Commando Mullet (Toy Soldiers: Cold War)
It’s a mullet like Rambo wore. What’s not love?
The Best for Your Body
Poker Hoodie (Full House Poker)
Perfect for the poker aficionado, this gear is essential for hiding your tells when playing Full House Poker or any other avatar game. I enjoy the combination of sunglasses and hoodie here truly match what real poker pros wear. Sure, it’s completely ridiculous… but these athletes need whatever edge they can get.
Unicorn Poop T-Shirt (DeathSpank)
Nothing quite like a simple black shirt with a cute little curl of unicorn poop. I’m not entirely sure how this made it past the censors at Microsoft but this pile of audacious poo is a gold medal winner. This might not just be the best Awards shirt, it could be the best shirt on the whole service. Magnanimous.
Keyboard Tie (Lips: I Love the ‘80s)
A must have for any Zoolander fan, the keyboard tie is a hilariously unique Avatar Award. I figure the tie is probably the least utilized avatar clothing piece rivaled only by the tube sock. And yet, the keyboard tie is an awesome award and worth it for any owners of Lips: I Love the ‘80s!
Evan Longoria Jersey (MLB 2K10)
This Avatar Award is not on this list because I like Evan Longoria or the Tampa Bay Rays. As far as I can tell, this is the only Avatar jersey that is customized for one specific player. Considering the huge market for custom jerseys, it’s a pretty spectacular little item for Longoria fans. I’d love to see custom jerseys for everyone to use, but my guess is we’d have a whole legion of Mike Hunts on the basepaths.
Charlie Brown Shirt (Snoopy Flying Ace)
Duh, this is a Charlie Brown shirt. What’s not to love?
The Best Toys for Your Avatar
Gnome Prop (Left 4 Dead 2)
One of the best easter eggs in recent memory has got to be the garden gnome found in Half-Life 2 and Left 4 Dead 2. Its always nice to have some levity in these scary and intense games and this gnome does just that. Pretty cool of Valve to include this as award so their fans can show it off wherever their Avatars go.
Companion Cube (Portal 2)
Another fantastic prop from Valve, this toy provides an Avatar with a portal gun and a companion cube to make disappear. Anyone with just the slightest history with Portal knows the importance of the companion cube and earning this prop is special. Plus, it will keep your mind on the awesomeness of portals until Valve can release Portal 3!
Super Meat Boy Pet (Super Meat Boy)
Last but not least, what could be cuter than a Meat Boy to jump around in your shadow? Lots of games make you pay for their avatar merchandise, the men at Team Meat know that Avatar Awards are so much more rewarding! A really suhweet prize for the most dedicated Meat Boy fanatics.