Header image (via) Josh Jackson of Pastemagazine.
Day 1 can be found here
This chronicles the events of July 13th.
I wake on the floor of my hotel room along with six other friends. I try not to step on Chet’s Gundam model kit as I make my way to clean myself in the sink. Dinah’s sleeping in the bathtub.
After donning my Optimus Prime t-shirt and John Cena jorts I head down to the hotel lobby to catch the trolly from Mission Valley to the convention center.
Today is Hall H day. My soul is prepared.
After missing my stops a couple times due to San Diego transit authority apparently writing in Klingon I finally made my stop at convention center. The Hall H line paddocks were stuffed with hungry nerds munching on Gamer Grub.
If you’ve ever lived next to a ConAgra food packing plant you are halfway to knowing the smell of a sea of people eating Gamer Grub.
I strike up a conversation with a cosplayer going as Link from The Legend of Zelda. I spend over twenty minutes trying to discern if they’re a boy or a girl.
Finally! The line moves. I step over the body of a passed out fan still zipped up in his sleeping bag. “Snooze you lose!” I think. In Hall H, mercy doesn’t exist.
Wow, this place is bigger than George Lucas’ imagination!
I fight for a seat near the front, but unfortunately I am shooed away near the back. Damn you rent-a-cops. I think I’m next to a blogger from Ain’t It Cool News. I prepare myself for my eventual internet popularity.
The ParaNorman junket begins. I’m happy to see stop-motion animation making a comeback. And no, Coraline doesn’t count. Jerks.
Wow, I didn’t see the “child-abuse as Frankenstein monster” allegory coming.
Finally, the moment I’ve been waiting for: The Big Bang theory. Nothing makes me happier about spending over $800 dollars on tickets and travel than to see the actors behind the show of the grossest misrepresentation of my lifestyle ever conceived take the stage!
One of the actors is gay?
It’s so cool they’re getting Alan Moore to appear on the show! Who knew he could sing?!
Police have just shut down Hall H due to a bomb threat. Guess that panel didn’t end with a Bang after all. BAZINGA!!!
The remainder of the Hall H panels is now taking place outside of the Hilton Bayfront. First up is the Game of Thrones panel, where Sean Bean is set to apologize for dying in all his roles.
END TRANSMISSION DAY 2