I consider myself to be an open-minded kind of guy when it comes to sexuality. Whether it's whips 'n' chains you're into, or a couple of minutes of missionary followed by an exasperated sigh, I believe that as long as a person isn't harming anybody, they should have complete freedom in their sex life to do as they please.
With that being said, fetish porn star and femdom extraordinaire 'Mistress T' gave me a brief insight into her world, and whips 'n' chains are a stroll in the park compared to some of the things that she's experienced during her career, and made me take a step back and reevaluate my Weird-O-Meter to incorporate businessmen being anally penetrated by strap-ons and 'vorarephilia' (more on that later). Here's my, ahem, 'insightful' Talkin' Sex interview with her:
CRAVE ONLINE: Tell us a little bit about what you do.
MISTRESS T: I star in fetish/femdom (female domination) videos. I cover about 120 different categories of fetishes and they're all femdom, meaning that the women are always in control. The fetishes are anything from foot fetishes to pantyhose fetishes, to cuckolding to giantess, to humiliation and some pain here and there – ball-busting, that sort of thing.
What exactly is the giantess fetish?
It's a really interesting one actually. Have you ever seen the films Attack of the 50-Foot Woman or Gulliver's Travels? Well a lot of guys develop the fetish after seeing these movies. It's the idea of being so tiny and vulnerable that a woman could do anything to you; you're small enough to be stepped on, you're small enough to be eaten alive and you're small enough to be used as a human dildo. It's basically the idea of being so vulnerable that you're helpless.
Is BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism) something you've always been into?
I've always been interested in alternative things. I was very sexual from a fairly young age, but I didn't discover BDSM until I was 20/21, when a friend showed me a website on the internet where people wrote erotic stories. A lot of them were regular sex, but I ran across a few BDSM stories that intrigued me the most and turned me on the most. A couple of years later I went to a live BDSM sex place and I saw some amazing things there, and I actually got brought into a couple of scenes, and I was flogged (whipped) in front of a crowd of people. I then started to go to fetish parties in Vancouver throughout my 20s.
Speaking of erotic stories, what's your personal take on the success of 50 Shades of Grey?
To be honest, I don't know a ton about it as I have read the books. My friends have said that they're highly entertaining and the sort of thing that people who aren't into BDSM would find intriguing, and it's also my understanding that this is a book that is typically read by women and not men. As far as it applies to what I do, I have a very male audience. I get some emails from couples saying they enjoy my videos, but there's probably not a single female out there who has signed up to my site. So a book that is mostly targetted towards women doesn't have a lot of crossover potential for what I do, which is a male dominated audience – in more ways than one!
What's the weirdest fetish you've ever experienced?
Probably vorarephilia. Vorarephilia is a fetish where you imagine you're being eaten another person, you're eating another person or you're watching someone else eating another person. But it's not like cannibalism – it's not a regular-sized person, it's a person who has been transformed into, say, a hamburger, or a little tiny miniature person like in the giantess fetish. It's about a person becoming a part of someone's DNA. The guys that are into it really want to see close-up images of a person's mouth, watching the chewing and the swallowing and being digested by another person. When I'm doing that fetish, to the average person it just looks like I'm eating a hamburger, but I'm talking about how I've transformed this person into a hamburger. It's considered the ultimate servitude for true worshippers – to nourish my Goddess body.
Is there any fetish you would never try, other than the obvious illegal ones?
I had a guy the other day who wanted me to drive over him with a car. He wanted me to leave the car on top of him, get out of the car and step on him. That's an extreme bondage fetish, but I won't do things that could potentially kill somebody; I'm very open-minded, but dead customers won't buy any more of my videos.
Do you find that men are embarrassed about being into the kind of stuff that you do?
They tend to be fairly open with me, but I know for a fact that they're very embarrassed. Many of the men who speak to me, I know for a fact that I'm the only person in the world who they've ever told that they like licking feet, or being peed on, or they want to be dominated by a woman pretending to be their boss, who's forcing them to suck a strap-on cock. A lot of straight guys think about sucking cock; they want to be forced by a beautiful woman to suck cock, not because they're gay necessarily, but to be forced by a woman to do it. Oftentimes I'm the only person who knows about it; their wives don't know, their friends don't know, their co-workers would never have any idea that on the weekend their boss likes to be tied up and fucked in the ass with a strap-on.
What advice would you give to men who are into BDSM and who are trying to get their partners on board with it?
Go slow. Go really slow. For some women especially, it's a big bomb to be dropped. You could scare her away. Dan Savage has a wonderful column called 'Savage Love' that I really recomment couples read together, because he talks a lot about this. If you (indirectly discuss your fetish) and your partner freaks out and is going "oh my God, that's so gross, I'd never do that!" then you probably never have a chance of getting them on board with it. But if they say things like "I don't know why he doesn't just tell his partner, you should be able to communicate about these things", then you might be able to slowly work it into the conversation. But it also depends on what they're into; if it's something fairly benign like worshipping feet, there's not a whole lot of women who would consider that a deal-breaker. If it's something a little crazier then you might have to go a little slower.
I don't think the strap-on thing is ever something you could bring up with the wife, is it?
Well y'know there's a lot of women who get off on the idea of fucking their husband up the ass. It's a real empowering thing; a lot of women have cock envy, and I personally know a lot of women who have been curious about that – they sell a hell of a lot of strap-ons in sex-shops! I personally consider that one to be something which can be worked up to slowly.
What fetish do you enjoy performing the most?
I enjoy making cuckolding videos because it crosses over into the mainstream – cheating wives, swingers and open relationships – there are a lot of women out there who aren't sexually satisfied with their husband, but they love them and they want to stay. There are a lot of men out there with smaller penises who aren't great lovers, but they're still wonderful husbands, so if a woman could take control of her sex life and say "I love you and I'm going to stay with you, but I'm going to get my needs taken care of elsewhere; I'm going to bring in this young buck who has a better body than you, a much larger cock than you and who is a better lover than you, and I'm going to get satisfied and you're gonna watch it", I think that's very powerful and I think a lot of that stuff goes on in real life. People cheat all the time, so I think that's why cuckolding is so popular.
What more can we expect from you this year?
The future is bright but the future is a little bit fuzzy! Business is increasing and going great, but I'm still trying to grow the business and if people want to see how that develops they should keep an eye on me, because there will be more!
Follow Mistress T on Twitter: @MistressTdotnet
Follow the interviewer on Twitter: @PaulTamburro
Mistress T's Official Site (NSFW): MistressT.net
Mistress T's Personal Blog: MistressT.wordpress.com
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